Andy and I met 10 years ago. We were both ready to settle down - again.

I really wanted to have kids and Andy was also keen to have more babies, as he already had 3 gorgeous children.

Years passed by and we had our ups and downs, we briefly separated at one point but we quickly realized we didn't want to live without each other.

After 9 years together I did not have expectations of marriage proposal - so it was a huge surprise when Andy went down on his knee - well, we were sitting on the grass in our local park - so there was no formal kneeing but you get the point.

PANDEMIC PROPOSAL

Andy involved Charlie in the sweetest way to the whole proposal. We were in the middle of the pandemic  - me staying at home with Charlie homeschooling and working - Andy was luckily going out to work every day.

My birthday was coming up. It was full lockdown and we had no plans, only Andy suggested let’s go for a picnic in our local park with some nibbles and drinks.

He said “Go ahead, lay the blanket down - Charlie and I will get the picnic stuff and your present out of the car and be right there”

After about 20 minutes Charlie could not wait any longer and was whispering to Andy something - me thinking must be excited to give me my present.

And there it was, the moment when Andy grabbed my hand I KNEW it!!!

He was nervous and sweet and Charlie listening to us expectantly… it was just lovely. Then Andy turned to Charlie and asked for the ring - he had it in his pocket all this time!! No wonder he was so eager to get things going!

He had the right idea: me choosing the ring that I would love to wear instead of him choosing me one.

The SECRETS I wanted to share with you that helped us to get to where we are

Love & Affection

Love and affection is a given. You either have it or not.

I am not saying you don’t need to work on keep the spark alive but you have to have it  - it's the fundamentals.

Communication

Communication is key - and the right kind of communication is even more important. Man and woman we are different in a way we express ourselves and also our motivations and expectations when we communicate.

For instance women deal with everyday issues by talking about them, men go quiet.

Women are good listeners, men are good fixers.

It was a while ago when I came across with John Gray's

Man Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus book.

"This book is not just a theoretical analysis of psychological differences but  also a practical manual for how to succeed in creating loving relationships."

Finances & Effort

You have to trust each other when it comes to money. You should always be honest about your income and your spending. You must have goals to save up for together.

AND very importantly you have to feel you put in equal amount of work & effort. I say work and effort because everything can be monetized

• the housework you do

• the DIY jobs he does around the house

• the skills you have when it comes to organize a holiday

• the packing he helps with before  a trip

• or the prep he does on the car you will be travelling with, I could go on…

Mental Health

We all have mental health just like physical health.

I am confident to say this: we all have issues one or another.

I have childhood traumas I am still dealing with causing me anxiety that comes and goes - if I don’t take care of it could easily turn into depression.

I believe it is very important in every relationship to understand each other's struggles and to have empathy towards each other.

Like I said: I learnt many tips from John Gray’s book to engage with the other sex and to be empathetic with them - massively helped in my relationship to go to the right direction.

It helped me to read moods and respond effectively, got me what I wanted in certain situations without seeming to nag and certainly taught me communicate difficult feelings.

That's why I highly recommend for every women & men to read it.

Don't hesitate, buy your copy, click on book image below & let me know if I was right by leaving me a message either here or my social media pages.