Andrea, Illie and I were classmates in the 80’s. Ille and I went to high school together, same class for 4 years. I went away to study for a few years but when I got back to our hometown, we started to meet up regularly again. Andrea and I even shared a flat together.

In 2000, Illie decided to move to the UK as an au pair. She begged us to follow; she kept telling us how wonderful it was, how much fun we could have together and eventually, I gave in - I made the move in 2002.

I left 6 years of my career behind in being a quality assurance consultant. I started establishing my business within the industry but could not resist the adventure!

I said to myself: I stay for a couple of years, learn English properly and then I go back to my career and will have more opportunities with the additional language skill.

I settled in an au-pair job with a wonderful family in West Dulwich in London - I probably had the easiest and most relaxing au-pair job in my life. Anna, my boss was lovely, supportive and very-very patient. I could hardly speak in English, my pronunciation was a disaster! I still don’t know how the family coped with me!!

I was taking care of the usual au-pair chores and was fortunate enough to be able to study English in a prestige school in the area, again with Illie the same time :-)

Illie and I found a family for Andrea very quickly and she followed us 2 months later.

I don’t need to say we never moved back home, since Illie made a big move to Australia with hubby and son a while ago, but Andrea and I are still in the UK, settled down with our families.

One thing we were always good at ever since we moved away from home was that we always made sure we kept in touch even when not living close to each other.

Weekly meetings as a minimum for many years in person, and since we had our babies, and moved away from each other, regular facetiming and Zoom calls  - even more often since the pandemic.

The reason why we are still this day are connected and our bond stronger and stronger: the regular connections, honest support towards each other, and the biggest secret is:

TALKING & LISTENING

Personally, I had quite a few crises, traumas in my adult life that my besties helped me through:

• Fear of losing my nephew when he fell off the tree

• Break-up from a long-term relationship

• Traumatic childbirth

• Fear of losing Charlie when he was a baby

• Miscarriage

• Postnatal depression

• Car accident with Baby Charlie in the car

• Separation from Charlie's Dad

• Losing my Dad and, shortly after, my Mum

These are 'only' the big ones, but we can have soo many other crises in our lives: work-related stress, falling out with a good friend, illness, and I could go on.

The most important thing I got from my friends was during or after these traumatic events that they were listening to me; they were supportive and kept checking in with me.

We underestimate the power of friendship between humans!

I can only compare their help to seeing a therapist.

Once I was in a bad state due to work-related stress, and in a relationship where I felt insecure, which caused me sleeplessness, constant worry and anxiety. I sought medical help at the time, and the GP suggested talking therapy, it was the best decision I made for my mental health!

Talking Therapy versus Friends

 'Therapy sceptics may wonder what the point of talking about your feelings with a stranger is when you could just seek out a trusted friend, family member, or mentor. While talking with the people you love is undoubtedly one of life’s joys, our loved ones aren’t always capable of handling our burdens. Not only are they not trained on what to say and how to react, but because they know us, it’s often difficult to separate the person they know — us — from their own phobias, traumas, or mental health struggles. What’s more, we all have our own problems, and it can be difficult to make space for other people, no matter how much we love them.'

From Talkspace

 If you would like to explore more about Talking Therapy I can recommend this article on Talkspace Talking Therapy

I hope you enjoyed my story, perhaps you find it familiar or helpful in some ways!

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